Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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