A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
