I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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