i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
