jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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