there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
