k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize