a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
