I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize