Need sex. Gaining weight.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
