what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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