How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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