i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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