If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
