i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he was CRYING into my vagina
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
