There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
