Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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