I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
