I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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