tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
