At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
