porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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