don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Farmville is her only friend.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
