Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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