I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
