I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize