the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's paint friendship bongs
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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