her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
