i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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