I am puke
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
