Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
