is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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