Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
