Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
