im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
