I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
