party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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