THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize