U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
