I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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