I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
