When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
