So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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