how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
