Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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