the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
