That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
