Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Randomize
