if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
