Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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