R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
false alarm. still invincible.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
