I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i've created a new STD.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
