I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
