Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
this will be a night to untag.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
